First, I want to thank you for being such a good friend and strong sibling in Christ for him. Keep blessing God and may He bless you too.
Second, I hope you are the same gender as your friend. It is a difficult and risky thing for a woman to help a man out of lust issues. Not only is it hard to accomplish, but I’m just not sure it is your place if you are a girl. I say that humbly. And I certainly don’t believe you can’t help him or that it is necessarily a bad thing. But it simply might not be your place to help him and perhaps you need to get with one of his male friends or mentors. However, for the rest of the ask, I’m going to assume that you are in an ideal situation to help him and are a probably a male. If not, my bad! :)
I’ve got three major tips and then a few really good programs at the end.
1. Accountability. Either help him find or be an accountability partner to him. Accountability is wonderful and powerful, but you have to be strict with it. This will help him greatly because he needs something outside of himself. Sometimes we need that little push.
2. Replacement. Smokers are told not to go cold turkey but rather to replace it with something. Quitting something and replacing it with nothing leaves a void and proves almost always ineffective (though it can work!). And even if it does work, sometimes it is replaced by something else unhealthy. Ultimately, he must find something else to do when he feels the urge to either watch pornography or do something sexual with his partner. He can do push-ups, he can run, he can call his grandma. Pick something and make it consistent. Usually a physical activity is very helpful or calling a family member.
3. Be with other people. These urges may come at any time, but they can only be acted on when alone or with his partner alone. When the urge comes, urge him to go downtown to the coffee shop or go to Wal-Mart or something, anything. Have a place he can go, by himself, with his partner, whatever. Another excuse to be with family.
The point is, don’t give it an inch. Make war on sin. Learn to hate your sin and Love God. And these minor changes will help in every way.
Lastly, there are a few wonderful programs to help him.
The first is truly awesome and FREE. Booyah, right? It’s a 60 day program and they assign you a personal mentor to help you fight all impurity in your life. Everyone should do this. It’s found at http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/courses/way-of-purity/
The second is awesome as well. It is part of my own coming to Christ. It a 30 day program to break pornography addiction specifically. It is found at http://www.xxxchurch.com/. Sadly, this one is not free. But parts of it are free.
I really hope I have helped you. I apologize for the severe lateness of my reply. Please forgive me. I love you and your friend! Have a lovely day! Go Christ!
“He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the Lord was my support…
I pursued my enemies and overtook them;
I did not turn back till they were destroyed.
I crushed them so that they could not rise…”